my chains are gone. i've been set free.

i am in love with the song Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin. it moves my heart.

all-nighter's are not of Jesus. he definitely, in my opinion, did not intend for our bodies to have to function for an over-extended amount of time. i use to be able to do an all-nighter, and function for at least 36 hours straight. this all-nighter was not the case. my body gets pissed at me when i do all-nighters. everything has been all sorts of out-of-whack today. i'm trying to make it until 10 so i will sleep until in the morning. i'm not real sure i'm gonna make it.

my momma is back from Hawaii. i'm glad. i missed talking to her.

this semester has been a trying one. it hit me just a few minutes ago what it's done for me though. it finally hit me... God is my Sustainer. He is my Foundation. He never fails me. i've always known that, but it just hit me today that He's sufficient enough for me. i never would have made it through today without Him. i am tired and weary right now, but i'm functioning. i got it all done... at least the stuff that was due today. i can't explain why it hit me... it just did. i put my "faith" in people too much. i expect too much, when i know that they will fail me. just as i will fail them. i don't know... today i'm just peaceful despite the exhaustion.
it's just crazy to me because i have begged Him for so long to show Himself... to prove [i know that's dangerous to demand] Himself to me. often times throughout this semester... throughout this whole school year even... i have wondered why i've been put in situations, and why this or that happened. i have been challenged in a lot of areas. but it's made me grow... which is what i've wanted all along. i just realized He's there. He's there in the crappy classes with the close-minded profs who challenge opinions, and act unprofessionally. He's there in the fights with parents. He's there in the realities that you are a sinful creature in need of grace. He's there in the confusion of an event you never thought you would have to face, or help someone face. He's always there, and i think [finally] that's enough for me. am i going to have moments where i don't see that? probably... cause Lord knows i'm stubborn. but right now, in this hour, i am content.

that's all i have for now. i'm gonna get much needed rest. this next week is gonna be more tiring than this week was. i have a theology paper due thursday that i have not even started. put i known i just have to take it one day at a time, and pace myself. that's definitely how i got my paper done that was due today. the other stuff was just extra crap. but i have major issues focusing, and everyone knows this, but when i was writing my paper i had a little bit of A.D.D going on. however, i sat in the library a total of about 11 hours over 3 days. i knew i'd get frustrated if i couldn't focus, and i typically have about a 3 hour time limit for being in the library. as aleasa put it "it is not my special place". this week though... i definitely give God the glory for that because i know that was not my just being focused. it was divine intervention for sure cause it takes that for me to zero in on a task, and stick to it.