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sometimes i think i can't get a break. that just when i think i'm about to break the surface, something else pulls me under again. however, lately things seem to be looking up. number one reason is this little girl.

that is shayna. she is my friend's little girl. she'll be a month old on thursday and all she's known is a hospital. she was born with her intestines outside of her little body. the thing is... i'd been praying for a miracle. for God to show Himself to me in a big way. then she was born. it may sound cheesy, but this little girl has given me so much hope. she is SUCH a champ. a little fighter. she has done ridiculously well. and other than her intestines not being where they were suppose to be, she is perfect. God blessed her with amazing surgeons and nurses who have taken care of her, and loved on her. she comes home this week. maybe on her one month birthday. and i'm so pumped.

second. my best friend from high school [well one of them anyway], has now moved back to arkansas. it's the first time in 4 years all of the girls i grew up with at K-Life small group have been in the same town. and i'm so happy. nervous... a little. as a group of 4 we don't really know how to be adults around each other. if that makes sense. i mean... last we were all together, we were teenagers, and dramatic, and crazy. the one i got along with LEAST is shayna's mom. we're now really good friends actually. adulthood suits our friendship. i'm kind of hoping we can start a small group Bible study again. considering we've all slacked off a LOT since we graduated, i think it would be good. and believe me... my slacking has been just as bad as everyone else's. no judgement here. i've stumbled away.

speaking of stumbling. it's getting old. this is the whole roller coaster issue. it can be summed up with some lyrics from Saving Jane. i hate to be typical and use lyrics, but sometimes they're just so dang appropriate...

You Say
I've been calling and calling for you
But you answer and I shut my mouth
I've been searching and and searching for you, but myself I don't want to be found.

You say I am
You say let go
You say believe
But it's not that easy for me
You say wait
You say right now
Don't you see your already one foot at the ground
You say

I've been wicked and wild and wrong and I've wondered the price of my shame.
I've been hiding my face for so long it's a wonder that you know my name.

You say come home
You say I'm here
You say there's some things you just can't control.
You say let me
You say believe
Why do you search for the answers you already know?
You say

I am the way
and the light and the truth
Don't be mislead by the flight of your youth.
Have faith in the things you can't see to believe.
what if you had faith in me?

You say rest here
This is your home.
Don't you see that you knew I was here all along?
You see


i went through several title options for this post... there were too many appropriate ones so i went with the way that song is titled on my iPod