calling

it's hard to process everything i learned at kamp this summer when i'm trying to process everything that's in my head now.

i have a roomie this semester [my LAST semester!]. at first i was not looking forward to it, but turns out she's pretty great. we get along really well. in fact, we've got into some pretty good conversations just this week. i've missed that outside of kamp so much, so to have someone like that right in my dorm... it's pretty great. anyways the other night we just talked about people being hungry for something. people are searching for something, and looking to things of this world. we, as Christians, judge them for being apart of the world... but what are we doing to show them otherwise? it's been a question that has burdened my heart for the past few days [more so than it usually does].

here's the deal... i've been trying to figure out where God's calling me. i went through such a period of question over the past year or so about whether i'm even suppose to be doing ministry. it's been made clear i am though. i feel called to do this program through Kanakuk [and if i get in i'm going to take it that's God's will because i know He is perfectly capable of closing doors if need be]. but i feel like after that program [if i get in]... well i feel called to move to California with my dad. honestly... that terrifies me, but it's been something i've been battling in my heart for a while now. will it be hard [if i in fact continue to feel called there and move]? heck yeah. but it kind of excites me to think of the ministry opportunities i would have. i don't know... it's a weird thing to consider. i would be leaving everything i love behind. but i told Him i'd leave everything... and i meant it.

and to think... all this in just the first week of the semester.