analystic justification

have you ever tried to analyze an action or decision to pieces just so you can justify what you did? you do it knowing in the back of your head that it's wrong, BUT you do it anyway. it's, for lack of a better word, dumb. i'm sure we've all done it. i did it a couple of days ago, and as i worked it over and over in my head trying to make it okay i knew still that it was wrong. yet i did it anyway. the following day feeling like SUCH an idiot. when will i ever learn to trust my conscience, also know as God say "megan, you KNOW... YOU KNOW that isn't right." even when i make stupid decisions God graciously guides me back in the direction that i am constantly struggling to grow in. sometimes i feel like i'm on a treadmill in my walk with Christ... in this journey of owning my faith. like on a treadmill i can walk/run, and not get anywhere. of course it seems like i'm not getting anywhere when in reality if done consistently i will ultimately gain endurance, and maybe even lose weight. so i guess even if i feel i'm not getting anywhere when i make dumb decisions, and in my mind hurting my walk, am i ultimately getting stronger because i am learning (even if it isever so slowly)? in my head it makes sense... even though i feel like i'm getting no where i AM actually getting somewhere because with every mistake i learn thus strengthening my understanding of Christ and His love for me. maybe i shouldn't write in the middle of the day... i make less sense.